Tiny Sex and Gender Swapping

Sherry Turkle's, Life on the Screen, talks of identities in virtual communities. This topic is very controversial, because many people can not cope with the fact that people want to be the opposite gender. Honestly it is hard for me to understand this as well. Why would people want to pose as a man when they are a woman (and vice versa)? Shouldn't we be happy with who we are, and not be someone we are not? However, Turkle talks of the positives of changing identities in these MUDs. She explains that people can learn about themselves by posing as the opposite gender. "One strong motivation to gender-swap in virtual space is to have TinySex as a creature of another gender, something that suggests more than an emotionally neutral activity. Gender swapping is an opportunity to explore conflicts raised by one's biological gender." Another possible positive with gender swapping is the fact that people want to see how it feels to be the opposite gender in order to understand each other or the opposite sex. This can be controversial, because I do not understand how people can say they "feel" something when it is virtual. However, after reading the article there may not be physical feeling but emotional and psychological feeling. Those that play in these MUDs or MOOs get so caught up with their character and get so involved that it is hard not to get emotionally involved. I see where Turkle is coming from, but it is still hard for me to understand this. We talked in class, and I believe a lot of us were confused of how people can get so caught up when it is not "real" but I guess one has to actually experience it to feel it.

Another argument that was brought about in the article was about loyalty. There was a couple cases that described a married couple with their significant other participating in these MUDs where they do gender swap and have tiny sex. One woman was very distraught and hurt by the situation; mostly just confused with what and why her husband was doing what he was doing. It poses some questions such as: Are you gay? Are you not happy with me/our marriage? MUDs can definitely be very emotional for the one involved and for the one who is not. This is a very touchy topic for myself as well, because I do not understand people who deliberately get involved with these virtual communities looking to have a relationship and tiny sex with someone other than their partner! Is it cheating? What does that mean? I honestly think it depends on people. So many people do not know if it would be considered a form of cheating, so I think it comes down to the individual and how they feel. if one feels hurt by the situation and they do not agree with it then that is how they feel, and one can not change that. Maybe they should not be with the person who is performing these sexual acts in MUDs. I think another fear is that this tinysex can lead to more, whether they think they would go further than virtual communities or not.

The example I found is an article describing MUDs and first-hand explainations of why these people gender-swap. The author of the article started out saying that talking to people that had no assigned gender gave her a bit unease. However she asked herself, "What does it matter what gender they are"? I think that is a very good point, because we can relate to all people whether they are a male or female. Another participant described her gender-swapping experience. She claims that when she is a female she is constantly offered help, and in return for the help a male expects sexual favors. It definitely is different being a male or female in these virtual communities from what I got out of the readings. At the same time gender swapping can be difficult and takes practice.

In conclusion, after doing the readings I am beginning to understand a little better where people are coming from and their reasoning for gender swapping. However I will never fully understand it unless I maybe experience it on my own. I do not think I will ever experience it though. Although I am trying to be open about the whole situation I am still bias. I believe that gender swapping and tiny sex in these virtual communities is one's own choice. If it is for them, and they are wanting to learn more about themselves in that way then great for them. When it comes to an individual who is in a relationship with someone who does this and they do not agree I am lost on that. I have been in a similar situation, and I just think one should go with how they feel and try to keep an open mind, but if it is hurting them it is not worth it!

http://www.mith2.umd.edu/WomensStudies/Computing/Articles%2BResearchPapers/gender-swapping